Restoring My Soul

July 2nd. We are a little over a half way point through the year. So as I walked Stone this morning before my day started, I spent some time reflecting….

Every year prior to 2018, I let life’s whirlwind of saying “yes” too many times, putting everything as a priority before myself, being sucked into the standards of perfectionism, and allowing negative self-talk ruin seeing the beauty in the mirror and the beauty in the path God has for me.

Don’t get me wrong, “beauty in the mirror” does not mean I have a self-absorbed ego, but merely contentment and belief that God has made us all beautiful in His image. You are beautiful too and I hope you believe that.

This year I created an imaginary box to lock up my negative self-talk. It has a lock with no key to ensure it never gets opened. There is a small slit in the top to allow any incoming negative talk to be entered into the box. What goes in never comes back out. Through constant awareness and effort, I have turned the rejecting talk into confident affirmations.

2018 has been a journey to restore my soul, to take time to breathe, to be a mom and wife as a #1 priority and have deeper connections to those around me. It has been a journey to slow down and allow myself to feel and process emotion instead of sliding it under the rug to deal with it later. I have learned through the struggles of a difficult June schedule last month, what my non-negotiables of self-care have to be. I have found super food nutrition that fuels me and is attainable whether I work from home, am on the road, or traveling on the weekends. It has been a year to focus on escaping from the world’s demands and allow peace and self-love into my daily realm.

We all need balance. We all need time to breathe and feel; to know who we are and what we want to become—where our true identity lies. None of us were created to be ordinary people. We are all given talents to make the world a better and brighter place. But we can’t do that if we let the world run us down and guide our directions for us.

My transformation all started with self-care and allowing myself space to breathe, to exist in peace and harmony, away from to-do lists and scheduling demands and to take care of myself first before I take care of others; to fill up my cup before I allow myself to pour. And to quit allowing destructive self-talk to speak louder than love and acceptance.

Through all this, I have learned a critical piece over the course of this year—only I can save myself from the life I allow myself to live. Nobody else can slow me down, choose healthy eating, change my priorities or love me as I am, more than me. If I didn’t make the change for me, it would have never happened.

We all have the power to change. As Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” So think you can. And go conquer it.

I am enough and I choose me

I’m gonna be honest with you– this last month has been hard to maintain balance. Both boys started playing ball so we’ve been at the field 4 nights a week, work has been busier and we’ve had a lot filling our weekend schedule. I have had to fight keeping myself first and maintaining my wellness schedule for my mind, body and spirit.

So I feel like I need to be bold and share the words below with you, hopefully to inspire some of you as well as to hold myself accountable–

I choose me. I choose happiness, balance and contentment. I choose peacefulness with my family instead of scurry. I choose to fill up my cup and have mindfulness and gratitude so I can pour out onto others. I choose my superfood nutrition to nourish and fuel my body. I choose my faith to persevere. I choose joy because life is too short. I choose a high wall of protection to not be sucked into this world’s demands and expectations because I will never be enough.

I am enough and I choose me. 

Crossing Jordan: the beginning

The Lord tends to place months of the year on my heart. Last year in early spring, He laid the name Crossing Jordan on my heart and the month of June 2017. I knew Crossing Jordan would be very personal to me and I originally thought it would only be my business name. I prayed a lot and asked for Godly wisdom.

When June 4th arrived that year, it was a day in church I will never forget. Not only was it the month the Lord placed on my heart, but our Pastor also spoke about when the Israelites trusted God by stepping in the Jordan River and God performed the miracle of parting the waters. I was awe struck. It was everything He had already placed on my heart. The Lord was asking I take faith and “step into the river,” get out of my comfort zone, and pursue my passion.

That Sunday in church I boldly went up front and stepped in the bucket of water our pastor had, symbolizing taking the first step in faith to pursue something God had placed on my heart. For me, it was pursuing making Crossing Jordan a reality.

The months that followed, God continued to grow me and prepare me, to my surprise not starting my own business yet, but rather a blog site. I feel called to share my life with you, in hopes to inspire you and help people through this journey on earth.